We’ve previously explained how to measure text messages on two important dimensions: emotional value and size. Now let’s see how the two are related.

Say your target sends you this text:

Them: “So what did you think of The Martian??”

You could send a short low-value reply:

(1) You: “It was great.”

Or a long high-value reply:

(2) You: “It was a very enjoyable movie, I was entertained pretty much the whole time. I thought Matt Damon’s performance was really good… I’m sure critics are gonna be writing about that… and I might be starting to develop a crush on him cause he’s just so likable on screen. Lol”

Or a short high-value reply:

(3) You: “Loved it. Also I have a crush on Matt Damon now lol”

For each option (1)-(3), we can divide the emotional value by the size and get the average value per word of your text. We call that your value velocity.

(1) low-value / short = medium value velocity
(2) high-value / long = medium value velocity
(3) high-value / short = high value velocity

Your value velocity is the rate at which you deliver emotional value in a social interaction. High-social-status people, like celebrities and politicians, always speak (and text) with high value velocity. You should strive to always have high value velocity in your texts.

To keep your value velocity high, just follow these two tips:

• Always give emotional value.
• Make every word count.

Keeping your value velocity high isn’t just a texting tip, it’s a way of being. It’s a critical factor in virtually every social interaction – whether it’s a date, a long-term relationship, a business lunch, or a speech to congress.

If you’re ever hanging out with one of us, and you start texting your special someone, and we sneak a quick glance down at your phone and see something like this…

…we can instantly tell you’re screwed. Continue reading “Size matters (in texting)” →

One of us matched a girl on the dating app Bumble, and after some back-and-forth role play, we ended up pretending we were an elderly couple. At that point, we were ready to transition to logistics and ask her out on a first date. Here’s an excerpt from the tail end of the conversation:

The biggest technique we’re using here (besides the bag of tricks that lets us improvise a good role play) is the Logistical Matador. After hitting her with a string of role play lines (), we swiftly – perhaps even so swiftly that it caught her off guard – unsheathed our Sword of Logistics and delivered the first thrust: Continue reading “Convo #8: Logistical Matador technique with an elderly-couple role play” →

This conversation took place sometime after one of us went on a first date with a girl, and wanted to set up a second date.

The main reason these logistics went smoothly is that we hit her with a Unilateral Plan: “U want to do something sporty? I gotta get my pale butt to rancho” and “I’m gonna run there weds at 5” both set up the BATNA that if she rejects this invite, we’re going to be doing something that we think is valuable enough to put in our schedule even before we ever met her. Continue reading “Convo #7 – The Unilateral Plan gives us smooth second-date logistics” →

Say you’ve established that you both want to grab a drink sometime.

You: “We should grab a drink sometime when you’re free.”

Them: “Ya, I’d like that.”

Now you have to figure out date & time logistics. Which one of these texts would you send?

1. “I’m free any time after 6 on Wednesday or after 7 on Thursday. You?”
2. “When’s a good time for you?”
3. “What’s your week looking like?”
4. “How’s 7pm on Thursday?”
5. “Do Tuesday or Thursday work for you?”

Got your answer? Ok, here’s our take… Continue reading “One weird texting tip for all your date & time logistics” →

In Spanish culture, bullfighting is an art form. In modern culture, texting is an art form. And when it comes to sending smooth logistics texts, there’s a more artful and higher-emotional-value version of The Tightening Noose that makes your texts flow like the steps of a matador’s nimble dance. We call it the Logistical Matador technique.

To use the Logistical Matador technique, you text exactly the way a matador fights. Except instead of dazzling your target with a red cape, you dazzle them with emotional-value-giving role play. And instead of brutally stabbing them to death at strategically choreographed moments, you put logistical details into your texts at strategically choreographed moments. Here’s what it looks like: Continue reading “The Logistical Matador technique” →

One of our 2 tactics for smooth logistics texts is to communicate your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA). Here’s an example of a certain kind of BATNA:

“I’m going on a very scenic run Saturday afternoon, you should join.”

The premise of this text is that you’ve got plans to go on a run anyway – so if they reject your invite, it’s not a big deal because they can clearly imagine that you’re going to be enjoying yourself on a run without them.

We call this the unilateral plan because it’s a plan you’ve made unilaterally for yourself, so that all you’re doing now is offering them the opportunity to tag along. Continue reading “The unilateral plan: Your handy all-purpose BATNA” →